No, its not a porn movie… a Documentary? well maybe
Hands on a Hard Body is a documentary about twenty-four contestants compete in an endurance/sleep deprivation contest in order to win a brand new Nissan Hardbody truck.The last person to remain standing with his or her hand on the truck wins.
Someone made an actually documentary about this??? WTF is happening to this world….
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116481/
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How far would you go for a brand-new, fully loaded pickup truck? Would you go as far as the 23 contestants in Hands on a Hard Body, who entered a contest in which the last one standing with his or her hand on the car drove off with it?
S.R. Bindler documents the contest that takes place each year at a Nissan dealership in Longview, Texas. And what a contest it is. Twenty-three names are drawn at random and these lucky folks get the opportunity to participate. The rules are simple: one hand must remain on the truck at all times; no leaning or squatting allowed; if the hand is raised even momentarily, the contestant is out. One 5-minute break is permitted every hour, and one 15-minute break every 6 hours. The last three survivors–excuse us, contestants–must be tested for drugs. The results are hilarious. The gloves irritate hands (sweat could ruin the truck’s finish), legs go numb, people get on each other’s nerves.
Strategy is involved, cheaters are accused, competition is fierce. “It’s a contest, they say, of stamina, but it’s who can maintain their sanity the longest,” we’re told by 1992 winner Benny Perkins, who competes once again. This offbeat film shows the quirkier side of human nature while providing a thoroughly entertaining watch. Each contestant represents something, but which will win out: desperation (a woman tired of riding her bike everywhere but who can’t afford car payments), determination (a toothless woman who “tr[ies] to finish everything I start”), God (a woman’s church holds a prayer chain for her as she communes with Jesus by the truck), endurance (a former Marine who once stayed awake for five days), or experience (Perkins is sure he knows all the tricks)? Who finally makes it through the 78-hour ordeal? You’ll have to watch this comical film to find out. –Jenny Brown
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Its even one 3 awards (that ive never heard of or know what they where smoking at the ceremony)
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- What is the biggest ant in the world? An elephant!
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- Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA? Because it has 4 A’s and one B!
- Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
- What runs but never walks? Water!
- What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive? A Minnie van!
- How did Noah see the animals on the Ark at night? With flood lights!
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
- what’s red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint
- why do sea gulls live by the sea? because if they lived by the bad, they would be called bay gulls.
- what did the picture say to the wall?? “I’VE BEEN FRAMED!!!”
- what did the ocean say to the beach?? Nothing, i just waved
- What did the coffee say to the police officer? I’ve been mugged
- What do you call a dead parrot? a polygon
- What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup!
- what do you call fallen coffee on the ground? ground coffee!!!
- What is a ninja’s favorite drink? Watah!!
- What did the wall say to the other wall? See you at the corner!
- What did the sharpener say to the pencil? See you around
- What do you call a man who forgets to put his underpants on ?Nicholas !
- What do you call a man with a tree growing out of his head ?Ed-Wood !
- What do you call a woman with a sheep on her head ?Baa-Baa-Ra !
- What do you call a man who wears tissue paper trousers ?Russell !
- What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ?Sister Matic !
- Why did the man with a pony tail go to see his doctor ?He was a little hoarse !
- What do you call a witch flying through the skies ?Broom Hilda !
- What did the idiot call his pet zebra ? Spot
- What do you call a fish on the dining table ? A Plaice Mat !
- What would you call a friend who had an elephant on his head ? A flatmate !
- What do you call a man that drills holes in teapots ? A potholer !
- What do you get if you cross a box of matches and a giant ? The big match !
- What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a skyscraper ? A high jumper!
- What do you get if you cross a road with a safari park ? Double yellow lions !
- What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman ? A brush with the law !
- What do you get if you cross an overweight golfer and a pair of very tight trousers ? A hole in one !
- What do you get if you cross an elephant and a bottle of whisky ? Trunk and disorderly !
- What do you get if you cross a flock of sheep and a radiator ? Central bleating !
- Why was the broom late ? It over swept !
- Do you know the time ? No, we haven’t met yet !
- How do you make milk shake ? Give it a good scare !
- Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time ? A jelly copter !
- Waiter, this soup tastes funny ? Then why aren’t you laughing !
- Why did the hen cross the road ? To prove she wasn’t chicken !
- How do you stop a head cold going to your chest ? Easy – tie a knot in your neck !
- Why shouldn’t you try to swim on a full stomach ? Because it’s easier to swim on a full swimming pool !
- How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge ? See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth !
- What’s the difference between a fly and a bird? A Bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.
A lady calls The doctor and says…
Lady>My baby just swallowed my pencil
Doctor>Ok I am on my way
Lady>Well what should i do till you get here
Doctor>Use a pen
How do you keep an idiot waiting?
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