January 19, 2010
January 7, 2010
Google, your a strange beast
a Google search for
“maroochydore high school answering message”
seems to put sirmonkeys.com at 2nd place….
i wonder if its the same for every on who search for it with google ?
(click here to check for your self)
Hmmm whats needed to be number ONE!!!! 
Also less intresturing is this search
Last time i check SiRMonkey.com was on page 3, not bad if you ask me…
(have a look here)
January 6, 2010
December 7, 2009
Hands on a Hard Body: The Documentary
No, its not a porn movie… a Documentary? well maybe
Hands on a Hard Body is a documentary about twenty-four contestants compete in an endurance/sleep deprivation contest in order to win a brand new Nissan Hardbody truck.The last person to remain standing with his or her hand on the truck wins.
Someone made an actually documentary about this??? WTF is happening to this world….
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116481/
S.R. Bindler documents the contest that takes place each year at a Nissan dealership in Longview, Texas. And what a contest it is. Twenty-three names are drawn at random and these lucky folks get the opportunity to participate. The rules are simple: one hand must remain on the truck at all times; no leaning or squatting allowed; if the hand is raised even momentarily, the contestant is out. One 5-minute break is permitted every hour, and one 15-minute break every 6 hours. The last three survivors–excuse us, contestants–must be tested for drugs. The results are hilarious. The gloves irritate hands (sweat could ruin the truck’s finish), legs go numb, people get on each other’s nerves.
Strategy is involved, cheaters are accused, competition is fierce. “It’s a contest, they say, of stamina, but it’s who can maintain their sanity the longest,” we’re told by 1992 winner Benny Perkins, who competes once again. This offbeat film shows the quirkier side of human nature while providing a thoroughly entertaining watch. Each contestant represents something, but which will win out: desperation (a woman tired of riding her bike everywhere but who can’t afford car payments), determination (a toothless woman who “tr[ies] to finish everything I start”), God (a woman’s church holds a prayer chain for her as she communes with Jesus by the truck), endurance (a former Marine who once stayed awake for five days), or experience (Perkins is sure he knows all the tricks)? Who finally makes it through the 78-hour ordeal? You’ll have to watch this comical film to find out. –Jenny Brown
Its even one 3 awards (that ive never heard of or know what they where smoking at the ceremony)
| AFI Fest | |||
| Year | Result | Award | Category/Recipient(s) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1997 | Won | Audience Award | Best Documentary Film S.R. Bindler |
| Boston Society of Film Critics Awards | |||
| Year | Result | Award | Category/Recipient(s) |
| 1999 | Won | BSFC Award | Best Documentary |
| Florida Film Festival | |||
| Year | Result | Award | Category/Recipient(s) |
| 1997 | Won | Special Jury Award | S.R. Bindler For the editing. |
September 23, 2009
Ahhh a few of the best jokes ever… i swear!
- What is the biggest ant in the world? An elephant!
- Why did the kid study in an airplane? He wanted a higher education!
- Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA? Because it has 4 A’s and one B!
- Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
- What runs but never walks? Water!
- What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive? A Minnie van!
- How did Noah see the animals on the Ark at night? With flood lights!
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
- what’s red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint
- why do sea gulls live by the sea? because if they lived by the bad, they would be called bay gulls.
- what did the picture say to the wall?? “I’VE BEEN FRAMED!!!”
- what did the ocean say to the beach?? Nothing, i just waved
- What did the coffee say to the police officer? I’ve been mugged
- What do you call a dead parrot? a polygon
- What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup!
- what do you call fallen coffee on the ground? ground coffee!!!
- What is a ninja’s favorite drink? Watah!!
- What did the wall say to the other wall? See you at the corner!
- What did the sharpener say to the pencil? See you around
- What do you call a man who forgets to put his underpants on ?Nicholas !
- What do you call a man with a tree growing out of his head ?Ed-Wood !
- What do you call a woman with a sheep on her head ?Baa-Baa-Ra !
- What do you call a man who wears tissue paper trousers ?Russell !
- What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ?Sister Matic !
- Why did the man with a pony tail go to see his doctor ?He was a little hoarse !
- What do you call a witch flying through the skies ?Broom Hilda !
- What did the idiot call his pet zebra ? Spot
- What do you call a fish on the dining table ? A Plaice Mat !
- What would you call a friend who had an elephant on his head ? A flatmate !
- What do you call a man that drills holes in teapots ? A potholer !
- What do you get if you cross a box of matches and a giant ? The big match !
- What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a skyscraper ? A high jumper!
- What do you get if you cross a road with a safari park ? Double yellow lions !
- What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman ? A brush with the law !
- What do you get if you cross an overweight golfer and a pair of very tight trousers ? A hole in one !
- What do you get if you cross an elephant and a bottle of whisky ? Trunk and disorderly !
- What do you get if you cross a flock of sheep and a radiator ? Central bleating !
- Why was the broom late ? It over swept !
- Do you know the time ? No, we haven’t met yet !
- How do you make milk shake ? Give it a good scare !
- Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time ? A jelly copter !
- Waiter, this soup tastes funny ? Then why aren’t you laughing !
- Why did the hen cross the road ? To prove she wasn’t chicken !
- How do you stop a head cold going to your chest ? Easy – tie a knot in your neck !
- Why shouldn’t you try to swim on a full stomach ? Because it’s easier to swim on a full swimming pool !
- How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge ? See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth !
- What’s the difference between a fly and a bird? A Bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.
A lady calls The doctor and says…
Lady>My baby just swallowed my pencil
Doctor>Ok I am on my way
Lady>Well what should i do till you get here
Doctor>Use a pen
How do you keep an idiot waiting?
September 15, 2009
September 6, 2009
MC Lars – Signing Emo
Cant find a better link… so you tube will do
Once upon a time, in the city of Los Angeles…
“Marty, Marty listen to me.
Bring me something the kids will cry for
Get out there, and get us stoked!”
Meet Marty, major label A&R scout
Forty years old, gut hanging out
Red Ferrari, Marty living in L.A.
Bumps another line to get through the day
Dumped by his girl, he paid for her liposuction
His friends call him “Money,” in his introduction
And Marty knows nothing but claims to know it all
Lose the flat screen TV if he drops the ball
You’re as good as your last hit, find the next big thing
If he doesn’t bring the bling, his cell phone won’t ring
What’s the trend, what’s new? What’s a label scout to do?
Office life, Marty 11:32
The label pres. calls and yells, “Sign more emo!”
How about screamo? “If it sells, sign Nemo,”
“We’re down 2%, and BMG knows,
My Daughter likes Dashboard, so get me one of those!”
He checks AP.net, the Scout and more
Yelling band names to his assistant through the door
The kids like this, who cares if it’s great?
So he signs a band called Hearts that Hate
“Marty… we’ve got a hit!”
[CHORUS]
Cry tonight. My hands around your hands
I won’t let you die tonight
Cry tonight. My heart’s in your hands
I won’t let you…
Hearts that Hate, Marty goes to their show,
Up in the club and here we go
Marty sees a girl in a Simple Plan shirt
With a Senses Fail boy, ha! that’ll never work
He finds his label friends in the corner they huddle
An emo cattle auction, they penetrate the bubble
They talk about Victory and signing TBS
Dissing the same bands they just tried to impress
So the lights go down, the crowd starts to scream
Hearts that Hate have hit the scene
Blake on vocals, and lead guitar
He does a backflip, “Look how different we are!”
They show up at the studio to record it
A TRL, Billboard Modern Rock hit
They auto-tune Blake, but he can’t tell
He says, “I’ve got perfect pitch, damn I sing well”
ProTools, Logic, cut, copy, paste,
Quantized solos and quantized bass
Signed, sealed, delivered and sent,
Across the U.S. and the single went
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Momentum builds, but it all caves in
Industrial comes back, the pres. needs a NIN
Marty finds a new band called “Fetal Coil”
And Hearts that Hate try to keep their fans loyal
They re-work their sound for album number two
As “Machines of Hate” but their career is through
They break up and work pushing mops and brooms
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room
“Can you teach me track five Mr. Blake?”
“Hey, I wrote that song and it goes like this!”
[REPEAT CHORUS]
